Steal My Ideas, Please

You know the expression: “Don’t get mad, get even.” Now, while I do agree sometimes a little anger can be good, if it motivates some civil sticking-up for oneself, “getting even” is rarely the route to happiness. For anybody. Thus the idea for the book: Don’t Get Mad, Get Over It. I’d also like to […]

Eye for an eye never works because the cycle never ends. So instead of retaliating, set an example for a better way to behave. It’d take some ”vigilante” group to set this up, because no government ever will. But instead of deadly bombs, explode tasty ones. KABOOM! Candy’s rolling all over the streets. Ultimately, kindness strategies will win more hearts and minds and sympathy […]

I was telling a young shoe designer, Layla Hassoun, about my idea for “Marshmallow Duckies for Hot Chocolate,” and she said if the duckies themselves were chocolate, as they melted they could turn hot milk or hot water into hot chocolate. Take that a step further. Why couldn’t Hershey’s create Instant Hot Chocolate Kisses? They pack cocoa and […]

Why not a do-it-yourself life-coach web site? You answer a questionnaire about your medical health, mental health, financial health, career (hours worked, stress, respect), religion, relationships, worries, hopes and dreams. You get back a priority list of suggestions and references. OK, at most it’s a cursory overview, and it could be a ballpark guess, but sometimes we all miss the obvious: […]

First of all, there’s no need for dollar coins at all, if the Treasury adopted my “FREE MONEY!” proposal for putting ads on the dollar bill. But say the powers that be opt for Plan B, switching to dollar coins, to save millions on frequently replacing bills, which wear out more rapidly, then the answer’s […]

Or call it Pastimes. It’s weekly or monthly publication that aims to get people’s minds off their tribulations and troubles with puzzles, humor, comics, funny fiction, amusing photographs, observations/essays about TV and movies and video games and other distractions we love. Not news. Not gossip. (Better sources exist for those.) But things to do and things that make you smile. […]

“But giving to other people is what makes me feel alive. Not my car or my house. Not what I look in the mirror. When I give my time, when I can make someone smile after they were feeling said, it’s as close to healthy as a I ever feel. Do the kind of things […]

NBC’s My Name Is Earl has a great concept: Misjudged but semi-lovable jerkwad gets hit by car after winning the lottery, knocking this bit of sense into his brain: Better make amends for your rotten life, or karma will get you. Well, why not find a real-life Earl, and have him make up his real life of […]

Doh! Elementary, my dear Bart-son! Homer with pipe and deerstalker cap wandering the moors, trying to sharpen his wits by indulging in Duff beer. *Urp!* Knowing Homer, the murder victims will all turn up alive — or turn out to be murderers. His archnemesis is Mr. Burn’s brother, Maury R.T. Burns.

Alas, newspapers grow ever shorter on space, so it is with no great anticipation I share some ideas for features that readers might find of some interest. Consider this Part 1 of a series.
Contest Mania. Who isn’t interested in free money and merchandise, ways to win them, and people who have done so? Are there […]

Yes, there’s a noxious plant called Giant Hogweed. Better at popping out itchy blisters than poison ivy, supposedly. Can even cause blindness, some sites say. It’s cropping up in Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, Connecticut, other states, and Canada. (Shot this photo of it outside Bancroft, Ontario.) Here’s my idea: Whoever develops an ointment to prevent or treat […]

You start out as fly, and have to avoid fly swatters and bug sprays for like 15 minutes. Then you die of old age, and get reincarnated as a roach. Nothing can kill you, except for feet, so after like 20 minutes you die of old age, and get reincarnated as a little fish. And […]

Ever try to cut a big pizza slice in half so each person gets some crust? You get this skinny sliver you can hardly hold or eat. Or say you don’t want a big piece but the pie is huge. Do you grab an outer cutout that has crust, leaving a floppy, sloppy part without any […]

Seriously. Instead of dropping a bomb on your nasty neighbor, you drop some gas that makes them happy. Laughing gas. Or an anti-depressant. Or some kind of wonder enlightenment tonic to drop in the water. Or could this be the worst weapon of all, because it could be a way to quell all resistance to invaders? Not […]

My family used to play an add-a-letter game called “Ghost” on long car trips. One person says a letter, the next person adds one. The trick: There has to be a word that starts that way, and you lose if you end a word. Gets you searching those mental vaults for odd words that will […]