My Bad Ideas

Stamped these ideas of mine as “Rejected” for this blog. Might make possible skit material for Saturday Night Live, however. 

Book: Bram Stoker’s Barney.

Root beer beer.


Wheel of Fortune cookies. Big cookies, with colored triangles and letters. Maybe that’s on one side. There’s a puzzle on the other.

Funnybones. A comic strip about skeletons.

Movie: Night of the Loving Dead.

Groucho Glasses Day at the Ballpark. I mean, it’d just be funny to see 40,000 fans in Groucho glasses.

Steering-wheel mounted cup holder. “Its gyroscopic free-turning weighted design is foolproof against spills!” As if.

Ties that look like cleavage for the businesswomen who likes to keep ’em guessing. Ties that look like dress shirts with buttons for modest women in swimsuits willing to live with vertical tan lines. 

Let advertisers pay for Mexico border fence. Good idea to say tax money. But what advertiser wants to be linked to political controversies — or have their ads in a place few customers aren’t likely to visit? Hmm. Who knows?  


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