Steal My Ideas, Please

Ketchup tastes better warm. And sometimes you just want a little. So how to heat it? Ditto for melting butter. Often a small amount’s desired. Seems there ought to be some kind of microwaveable cutlery with a trough for smidgeons of sauce. Maybe redesign the spoon. Bend the end of the handle, so the thing lies flat. Add […]

Some words look like they should be opposites but really aren’t, I’ve noticed. They’re anti-antonyms. Examples: hottie and icy, inlaw and outlaw, onset and offset, upset and subset, postman and foreman, topping and bottoming, undertake and overtake, uppercut and undercut, expect and inspect, retail and detail, demote and remote. Forgive and forget are especially odd, […]

Visited the U.S. Mint the other day to see how the presidential dollar coins are being made. Collectors seem to be excited about new features, like four new presidential portraits a year, and writing around the rim. But will the coins wind up in cash drawers and pockets? Skeptics say there’s only one way: No more dollar […]

Wheat germ by itself: OK, nutritious, kind of nutty taste, not much body. Oat bran: Really blah, kind of bulky, but has cholesterol-cutting soluble fiber. So put ‘em together. Get the best of both: vitamins, fibre, body and that nutty taste. Give it a nutty name: Whoat Bram. Of course, you can always make your […]

If the Lone Ranger got cancer, he’d need Kemo Sabe therapy. Ditto for his erroneous zones (identity problems, gun fixation, neat freakiness, trouble getting a date).

The only thing wrong with you is that you think there’s something wrong with you.
I know they’d like me if only I’d stop worrying about people liking me.
If can just stop trying not to try, I’ll find enlightenment.  

Hmmm … how to liven up having cars go round and round in circles? I’m thinking (a) have obstacles pop up, like cardboard rocks and sheriffs and baby carriages, for mucho swerving fun (b) have ”pedestrian crossing” races, where a fan can win $1 million for safely crossing the track, oh, three or four times, or (c) if […]

We’ve seen battles between bots with whirring blades as they roll around on wheels. But far more interesting, I think, would be to see robots that run. On two legs. It’s such a tricky bit of engineering and computer savvy to make a machine that walks. So on your mark, get set, run! Just as […]

OK, OK, OK, maybe the physics here won’t work. And the scale might be impossible, too. But if sea levels will rise because of melting ice sheets, how about creating some new ones? Put snow machines all over Greenland, and maybe Alaska and Siberia, too. Maybe even on icebergs at the North Pole. Pile up […]

Oreos could make for an inspiring kind of edible construction toy. Two kinds: Premade parts and Custom Bake-ables. With Premade, you’d chocolate crisps in squares, rectangles, bricks and circles, plus a pot of creamy white filling “mortar.” Arrange in any way. Towers. Tunnels. Vehicles. Castles. Boats. In Custom Bake-ables, you could do all that using little molds, or create super sizes, like […]

Take the i-Pod Shuffle idea and offer a stream of brain teasers and trivia. The pitch: Entertaining way to sharper your brain. Might be a Jeopardy! version. Or stuff from almanacs and encyclopedias. Games Magazine. Samples from various popular games, such as Scrabble. Tests with word problems from math books. Tricky lateral thinking problems from […]

1. It’s where you think you left it: Look more thoroughly. Repeat three times. Have someone else look, too. (One time I found a friend’s $5,000 check tucked under the flap of a bill.)
2. It fell. Look anywhere below. It’s in the drawer which was open, but then got closed. It hit the floor and rolled. […]

Take an old book and add some steamier scenes. Or wilder adventures. Add trouble of a greater order of magnitude. Same story, more action, less angst. Scarlet Letter: Hester Prynne whips out an uzi and shows those prudes a thing or two. They once had Classic Comics (maybe they still do?), visually retellings of famous stories. These […]

A funny newspaper column or book would be a collection of opinions by kids about adult likes and dislikes. Kids try pate. Cigarettes. Wine. The evening news. C-Span. Shakespeare. Caviar. Business suits. The Wall Street Journal. Brie. Slim-Fast. Might make a very “emperor’s new clothes” kind of point: Maybe adults don’t really some this boring, […]

Two sides have long histories of hatred? Let the aggressions out in some kind of sporting event. Slug it out in a boxing match. Play rough-and-tumble rugby. Fencing. Wrestling. Paintball. Prime minister vs. prime minister in a fierce game of foosball. Not saying this is a cure for war, but it could defuse some of the unreasonable […]