Improving NASCAR

Hmmm … how to liven up having cars go round and round in circles? I’m thinking (a) have obstacles pop up, like cardboard rocks and sheriffs and baby carriages, for mucho swerving fun (b) have “pedestrian crossing” races, where a fan can win $1 million for safely crossing the track, oh, three or four times, or (c) if that’s too sado-ballistic, have professional NASCAR clowns who scamper across the track, waving red flags or their big clown-pant butts, daring the cars. Or maybe they have supercharged scooters that can also zip along at 200 mph. OK, preposterous, ridiculous, someone would die. Then make it a movie! NASCAR Clown: Big Heart, Fat Chance.

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