Bubble Gum Cuisine

Why is gum only a snack or candy substitute? Why can’t it replace an entire meal? You have your chips-and-dip gum for an appetizer. Or, if you prefer, your soup or salad gum. Want bread and butter gum with that? Next it’s steak and potatoes gum, broccoli with cheese sauce gum, and favorite beverage gum. Cap it all off with some chocolate fudge brownie gum. Lots of chewing and tasting satisfaction. OK, maybe it’s in slabs you even cut with a knife. Has snappy sound effects, too. And no swallowing tons of calories. Makes sense in this weight-worried world, doesn’t it? Plus, afterward, all the tons of spewed gum could be recycled into car tires. Or doggie chew toys.

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