Don’t worry, honey. I’m not inventing, I’m down here drinking!

First, I’m happy to say I’ve been doing some guest-blogging for Posting top-of-the-head creative exercises I call Brain Reps. Here’s my first, on inventing excuses.


Ouch. Brain cramps, again?! Yeeow. That’s what I get. For not stretching my mind first. For jumping right into a drill, still on a full stomach.

Today’s obstacle course: The most useful invention of all.


As in: What to tell the significant other when you’re too embarrassed to say, “I’m trying to make a Miracle Bra out of Miracle Whip!”

So let’s brainstorm. Do some brain reps.

Category 1: Denexcuses toony, deny, deny.

“You don’t want to know, honey. But as soon as I corner the pest, I’ll kill it.”
“I found a treasure map a previous owner left! That noise is just me drilling for dubloons!”
“I’m hiding from a swarthy stranger I kind of placed large illegal wagers with.”
“I’m testing all my tools, so I can give some to your Mom!”
“Don’t worry. I’m not inventing! I’m just down here drinking!”

Category 2: But, honey, it’s an invention you’ll love!

“It’s a brainwashing helmet to make men love shopping!”
“With my Brownie Bypass Bagger, we can all eat buckets of chocolate guilt-free!”
“I call it Not Now, Charlie. Looks like a lipstick tube, but deflates all egos within 20 feet!”
“It’s the sock that never smells!”
“I’m inventing a cure for the compulsion to invent!”

Category 3: Tell the truth. Who’d possibly believe it?

“I’m inventing a way to recycle toenail clipping into fake fingernails.”
“It’s ceiling paint flies can’t walk on!”
“My Titanium Tooth Spackle renders flossing obsolete!”
“The Robot Squeegee Squid! Never wash a window again!”
“Post-It Lunch Meat! And Post-It Cheese! Vertical sandwiches!!!”

Second, idea blogs finally got a little press: an article in the Spokesman Review, a Spokane, Wash., newspaper.

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