The Comedy Condemnation Awards

There’s something not funny about having comedy awards. Seriously. It’s old “hey, here’s a funny joke” problem: If you say something’s funny, well, the audience gets all, “Well, we’ll be the judge of that,” and the performers get all jokey and phoney. Or at least they seem to. So instead, have an awards that’s disguised as a night of moral indignation. Host it by some Sunday school marm, who’s all cronish and cranky and opens envelopes that purportedly list the greatest threats from the past year to High Seriousness, Moral Certitude, Discipline and Effective Punishment. The comics, of course, take it all in stride, accepting graciously, which infuriates the host and her tribe of moral banshees. I think there should lots of beatings of the winners. Whacking them off the stage with sticks, especially if they thank too many people.

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