Steal My Ideas, Please

Instead of a collection of jokes, how about a book that’s a collection of punchlines? I’m just thinking it would be fun to browse through punchlines, then look up the joke. OK, it’s still a joke book, but the punchline variation would make it different. OK, it’s probably a better idea for the Web. Hmm … […]

Lots of people have speculated about ABC’s Lost being about time travel. Especially since the “Flash Before Your Eyes” episode in which Desmond’s flashback has him back in his past but remembering the island; then he’s talking with some Creepy Old Lady (an actor from the film The Others) who talks of fate; then as soon as […]

Remember the classic sci-fi flick The Fly with Vincent Price where a man turns into a giant fly because of an experiment gone buggy? At the end, they see a tiny fly with a human head in a spider web saying “Help me! Help me!” Well, in ABC’s Lost, it sure seemed weird when an […]

Not that this would ever happen. But one way to reduce undue influence on politicians while raising some revenues is to collect sales tax on money spent by lobbyists. An extra added tax above and beyond whatever point-of-purchase sales tax is levied by a state or local government. Want to buy a congressman or congresswoman? […]

Wrapping every question up in one neat theory is probably a sign it’s bogus. But here goes. The island in ABC’s Lost is intelligent. How isn’t clear. Either the island has somehow captured spirits (the whisperers), become inhabited by one powerful and/or trapped soul (the Jacob who Ben and Locke talked to), developed into some […]

If people won’t go to confession, take confession to them. Just another random thought I had the other day. Philly’s Wing Bowl is a spectacle of slobbering slobs gnawing chicken knuckles while the cleavagely enhanced parade and manage the paper plates. Perhaps, some might say, just the sort of thing where at least a gent […]

You rip a plastic produce bag off the roll, and darn thing refuses to let you open it. Sliding it between fingers. Even in a corner. Blowing on it. Rubbing it between my hands, or on my shirt, looking like a total idiot. Eventually it works, creating a tiny gap that takes even more time […]

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m in support of writers getting what’s fair, and I hope the strike is settled soon. But, sorry, I can’t help myself, when I think of an idea.
If TV shows have no NEW material, how about using OLD material? Seriously. Jay Leno could recycle old jokes. It’s not like we […]

Being wrong is a sign of thinking.
Lie detector tests should be called lie-detector guessers.
Greatness, if it exists, is the product of ordinary things done right.
Someday, someone will patent a process for writing patents.

Car horns bleat, the blare, they say, “Yo, brasspipe, wake up, wise up, get the pell-mell out of my way!” But sometimes you just want to nudge somebody politely, genteelly, slightly: “Uh, excuse me, but that light’s been green for several minutes.” “Sorry, but could you roll down your window, so I could ask you […]

Was looking today to add something nutritional to some chicken tortilla soup today. Didn’t have time to cook rice. That old standby, crackers, is basically empty calories … and pretty boring. Wished I had some kind of tortilla chips made extra tiny and soggy-proof. Something like tortilla chip cereal. Why not reformulate cereals so they […]

It’s kind of a popup desktop utility. You call up “Today’s Scoresheet.” Helped someone? Hurt someone? Check boxes. Double, triple check for double, triple points. Then some fancy graphics (gotta illustrate this*) and presto, your Instant Karma Meter tells you whether you’ve been bad or good, going to Heaven or Hell, […]

Everybody loves the color of autumn leaves. So why not bioengineer lawns that turn colors in the fall? Foliage Fescue. Rainbow Rye. Kentucky Red-White-and-Bluegrass.

Naps happen, right? You’re watching the presidential debates in your recliner and z-z-z’s  replace the drone of mes, mys and Is. Your Handy-Dandy Smart Recliner slowly flattens into its most comfy sleep position. How? Recognizes the three signals of sleep: snoring, dead-fish posture and closed eyeballs, and adjusts accordingly. When you snap out of it […]

Woke up the other day and this title just hit me: Unqualified Success. We all know people, some of them famous, who really didn’t deserve their success in life. This would be a collection of such stories. Got any nominations?
Has it really been six weeks since I last posted? Sorry. Been working on a patent […]