Steal My Ideas, Please

Everybody loves the color of autumn leaves. So why not bioengineer lawns that turn colors in the fall? Foliage Fescue. Rainbow Rye. Kentucky Red-White-and-Bluegrass.

Naps happen, right? You’re watching the presidential debates in your recliner and z-z-z’s  replace the drone of mes, mys and Is. Your Handy-Dandy Smart Recliner slowly flattens into its most comfy sleep position. How? Recognizes the three signals of sleep: snoring, dead-fish posture and closed eyeballs, and adjusts accordingly. When you snap out of it […]

Want to know when someone’s entering your house? Could be a loved one, friend or foe. Now you can with Noisy Doors and Squeaky Rugs. What’s great about Squeaky Rugs, they’d be also laugh for kids who’d diabolically dance up a sonic storm. (Maybe not so much for stressed-out parents.) I’m imagining they sound like squeaky toys, but […]

Every appliance, every car, every person will come with a chip that wirelessly connects to the Internet. Then you’ll be able to Google everything in the world. Who else can has a Zearz Biogoat Grass-Chewing Mower? You can find out and contact them, form a club. Lose something in your house? Google it! Want to […]

It all begins with this: What does she really love? Example: Her cat. So buy, make or invent something for her cat. Make a kittie photo album. Photoshop it to include all sorts of celebrities, human or cat. Or remove some cat-related annoyance. Like: Clipping its claws. So give her coupons saying you’ll clip Floofoo’s […]

What’s this wrinkled, gnarled thing with an end that’s charred and hard? No, it’s not a dirty joke, it’s a microwaved hot dog. When the microwaves hit food, water molecules jiggle, generating the heat. But heated water molecules seek to escape, leaving edges of veggie burgers gritty and leftovers rubbery. So wrap that dog in […]

When I was little, I was scared of the dark. Had to leave that night light on. Wonder if night lights could be redesigned to project a lit image on a wall or ceiling. Thoughts: Some powerful hero to scare monster away. Some harmless monster like Cookie Monster, to acclimate the kid to the whole idea. Or maybe project images […]

Ketchup tastes better warm. And sometimes you just want a little. So how to heat it? Ditto for melting butter. Often a small amount’s desired. Seems there ought to be some kind of microwaveable cutlery with a trough for smidgeons of sauce. Maybe redesign the spoon. Bend the end of the handle, so the thing lies flat. Add […]

Oreos could make for an inspiring kind of edible construction toy. Two kinds: Premade parts and Custom Bake-ables. With Premade, you’d chocolate crisps in squares, rectangles, bricks and circles, plus a pot of creamy white filling “mortar.” Arrange in any way. Towers. Tunnels. Vehicles. Castles. Boats. In Custom Bake-ables, you could do all that using little molds, or create super sizes, like […]

1. It’s where you think you left it: Look more thoroughly. Repeat three times. Have someone else look, too. (One time I found a friend’s $5,000 check tucked under the flap of a bill.)
2. It fell. Look anywhere below. It’s in the drawer which was open, but then got closed. It hit the floor and rolled. […]

When it snows, on the news you’ll hear all sorts of warnings: Dress warmly! Look out for icy roads! Bend those knees when shoveling, and don’t do it with a heart problem! Never, though, have I ever heard: Beware of pushing your shovel like a plow because if the blade catches, the handle could suddenly jam, […]

Suppose you’re in a hurry to make your icy sidewalks less dangerous. The stuff is way too hard to chop and shovel. What if you had an “ice rougher”? It wouldn’t remove the ice, it would just rough it up so it wasn’t so slippery. Wouldn’t have to be a separate tool. Option 1: Could be […]

“Hello, Peter and Anne can’t come to phone right now, but if you have a question, just ask.”
Well, where the heck are they? And you wouldn’t have a cellphone number I could try, would you?
“Actually, they are home but they’re just too lazy and/or rude to answer the phone. So it wouldn’t do any good to […]

Now lawn inflatables move, with penguins that pop out of igloos and Santas and snowmen that wave. What’s next? How about inflatables turned mid-air balloons? Use helium, hot air or much more powerful fans keeping tethered characters aloft. The hot-air system would probably need flaming gas jets, which might not be too safe, but, hey, if you want to make […]

Or maybe it’s sonar. But if they ever develop tech for telling where underground mines are, maybe it can be applied to more suburban tasks, too, like detecting tree roots or gas lines or the former owner’s buried bullions.