Poor Michael Moore. He keeps making documentaries with the meagerest merchandising possibilities. Now Sicko. See Mr. Ruptured Spleen With No Medical Coverage? Mr. Senator Golfing on Drug Company Junket Money? C’mon, Mike. That’s no way to exploit the American System. Can’t even joke about cuddly toys or honorable action figures for Bowling for Columbine and Fahrenheit 9/11. Read More …
Wrote this long ago. Found it filed away. (Revised 7/9/07 … by adding a helpful title) A Day in the Not-So-Distant Future They resisted our every advance. They said, “Please do not take the chance!” But we used careful means To tamper with genes, And now the smartest “men” are plants!
Who needs a bathroom scale? Nobody. Not when somebody makes and markets these handy Scale Shoes. Of course, for some people, who, how shall we say?, have trouble peering over their belts, the digital readout will have to speak. Or, since who wants everyone else to hear?, send a text message or email. Check the Read More …
What if … you had a very light spacecraft … OK, maybe it’s just a satellite with microchips … and suppose (yeah sure) they reallly could build a buckytube-walled space tube that’s 100 miles high … following me so far? … OK, we’ve got the outer part of our space elevator, but what’s to lift Read More …
The Philadelphia Phillies are converging on 10,000 losses in their history — the most, supposedly of any professional sports franchise. (At least since Groink the Caveman started the Prehistoric Arrow Catching League, whose contests always ended in sudden death. I hear the Visiting Christians may also have had a similar record vs. the Colliseum Lions.) Read all about it on countdownto10000.com and Read More …
He: “My goal is to be perfect.” She: “Well, there’s your first mistake.”
Want to know when someone’s entering your house? Could be a loved one, friend or foe. Now you can with Noisy Doors and Squeaky Rugs. What’s great about Squeaky Rugs, they’d be also laugh for kids who’d diabolically dance up a sonic storm. (Maybe not so much for stressed-out parents.) I’m imagining they sound like squeaky toys, but Read More …
Seriously. Why not let pitchers come back? Think they’d be more likely to get injured? I think the opposite: Pitch a little, take a rest, pitch some more. Sounds like less wear and tear to me. Would also increase strategy talk that fans both love and hate. OK, impose some limits. Baseball is too slow. Can’t substitute Read More …
Simple concept: A hat with a cup holder. I’m thinking: Would be kind of tipsy. So how about one on each side, with a weighted disc. Empty they’re both balanced. Got a drink? Move both weights to one side, put the drink in the other. Gotta have a long flexible straw, of course, so you Read More …
Cerealism: (1) An art movement in which flakes, O’s, puffs and other crispy shapes are used in collage, painting and other forms of artwork. (2) A brand of breakfast cereal that uses symbols and imagery from surrealistic works of art, like the melted clocks in Salvador Dali’s The Persistence of Memory. (3) A philosophy in which life is likened to packaged Read More …
Here’s another cartoon from years ago. Please credit Peter Mucha, if you use.
Here’s another cartoon I did years ago. Please credit Peter Mucha, if you use.
Whoo-hoo, whoopdedamndoo! Every game show, the crowd and contestants are so pepped up, you’d think eyes would pop out and roll around the floor. How about, as a change of pace, Unenthusiastic Night or Unenthusiastic Day? (Unenthusiastic Week is too much to expect.) For one special occasion, you get morose and sullen and cyncial types, who shrug and Read More …
Say at work, you don’t dare get caught checking out fun stuff on the Web. That boss is so strict, well, can’t even safely check out fark.com, ESPN, blogs or film reviews. Well, somebody could create a website just for you. Go to “fooltheboss.com” and you’re instantly redirected to “seriousbusiness.com” and the title displays “Statistical Marketing Analysis” and the big headline Read More …
That name’s a bit grandiose, I know. But that’s my dream, my hope, my goal. Newspapers are supposed to be dying, heading for obsolescence instigated by the Web. Doesn’t have to be that way. And to make my case, I’ve been working for months on a parallel blog. Finally, it’s time for an unveiling. Take a look. The address is Read More …