I’m crippled by love Can’t talk, can’t get up off this couch Somebody give me a shove Cause I’m crippled by love Did she do me wrong? Maybe she did me so right I can’t get her out of my mental sight Can’t eat, can’t smoke can’t tell a joke My body’s crushed by love, like, Read More …
I wrote these lyrics some time ago and I don’t know why. So, yes, certainly, somebody feel free, if you agree, to steal these lyrics and turn them into a song. It’s only love, don’t you care … Just ordinary, boring love … It’s only love, for those who dare feel ordinary, boring love Sure Read More …
Gee, I seem to have written down another song. Baby Alligator, Who Flushed You Down the Drain? Baby alligator, who flushed you down the drain? You came up swimming in my creek, and ate my cat, you freak!But then we became buddies and I let you in my house; Caught with a mouse, you had Read More …
I wrote this song this morning on the john. (Hey, that’s a lyric, too! Wonder how the rest of that song would go…) Monkey Men on the Monkey Bars Monkey men on the monkey bars swingin’ all day long gruntin’ and stuntin’ and singin’ songs might as well be from MarsDrop the acts Don’t look Read More …
Say you’re selling copies of your CD (like this one for my nephew Robert’s San Fran band, The Chop) but a potential fan asks, “Yeah, but what do you sound like?” Wouldn’t it be cool if your CD had a flap that played a song when opened? If this doesn’t exist, count on it, since we Read More …
Take the i-Pod Shuffle idea and offer a stream of brain teasers and trivia. The pitch: Entertaining way to sharper your brain. Might be a Jeopardy! version. Or stuff from almanacs and encyclopedias. Games Magazine. Samples from various popular games, such as Scrabble. Tests with word problems from math books. Tricky lateral thinking problems from Read More …
Build into each club a device that (a) senses where the flag is, (b) calculates where the clubface is actually aiming, (c) and tells aloud how much the trajectory is off. Super-deluxe version also (d) inertially monitors the swing, (e) tells you why you hooked or sliced, (f) is made of an indestructible material because, well, you know why, Read More …
The mother of all Magic 8 Balls. Has a much bigger window. And when you shake it and turn it over, three of the 20 message triangles float into view within that window. For example: “Edible.” “Music.” “Money.” Let it percolate. What bubbles into your brain? Edible Music? Song lyrics printed on flat candy? Chocolates Read More …
There’s sports talk. Opinionated political talk. Even shows all about money. But why not TV-movie-music-media-Web-celebrities-and-maybe-also-a-little sports-and-sex talk? Key to good talk radio is having two lively hosts who often disagree (a la WIP in Philly), and who can juggle several hot topics at once, to hook a wide audience. Keep the whiny politics out of Read More …
Here’s an idea I’ll probably never do. But it’s one that has long intrigued me. Some people have amazing laughs. Shrill. Staccato. Lilts. Snorts. Wouldn’t it be cool to sample great laughs and compile them into a song? Hey, email me a clip of a wild laugh from your family or office, and I’ll start Read More …