When Machines Crack the Language Code

Holy freakin’ s-bomb. Think about this: When the day comes that machines master language, we’re all ego-doomed. Since anyone can implant a language chip in their brain (or at least in an earpiece), everybody can instantly find the best words. Then nothing will ever again believe that anyone is clever! No, it’s not you, babe, it’s your chip! Worse, Read More …

Food Printers

Sure, why not? Here’s a cartridge with Cheese Whiz. Here’s one with Instant Pudding in several “colors.” Or slip in the Marinara Module. Or the Ionizing Icing Applicator. You feed (pun intended) in sheets of edible “paper” — beef jerky pulp, pasta paper, flexible crackers (well, they’ll get “crackery” after they dry or baked, pliable cookie Read More …

The Complaint Digg

We’ve all sent complaints about products into the black hole of customer relations, never to return. But just suppose, whenever we did, our complaints were automatically added to a poll. Say I emailed, “My defroster failed!” The next person would see my comment, too, and be asked, “Did you also experience this?” No, she’s complains, “There’s this weird clunking Read More …

Dragging Dragons Into the Harry-Is-a-Horcrux Theory

I’ve made only a little progress since my last Harry Potter speculations. Still believe I’m onto something with the theory that Harry’s mother, Lily, did something, used a potion to protect him. Believe she made him/his scar a horcrux, which made him invulnerable to Voldemort’s killing curse. To do that, my hunch is, she marked his forehead Read More …

Ads on Trucks’ Back Doors, Mud Flaps

Instead of Yosemite Sam and “Back Off!” you’d see Yosemite Samsonite and “Half Off.” Instead of “How’s my driving?” you’d see “What’s in your wallet?” Instead of silver silhouettes of Playboy bunnies, you’d see an ad for the return of the Volkswagen Rabbit. Yeah, but who wants to see this? Especially since, sooner or later, every static Read More …

Moral / Parental / Governmental Spam

I think this will happen: Some group, worried about the corrupted morals of our youth (and adults) will begin sending spam, nagging us to mind our nasty habits, get a job!, avoid drugs!, keep your privates private, etc., etc. Or, perhaps we’ll get health-oriented reminders, motivated by insurers and others who’d like to cut how much the inattentive Read More …

No Such Word in Google?!

Well, there is now. If nutrients are chemicals good for you body, then what are substances that make you sick? How about pollutrients? Popped into my head driving yesterday. Has a certain ring, yes? Reminds me of a cartoon I once did that I’ll have to find, scan and post later.  For more about Googlewhacks Read More …