Spam Spellchecker

I don’t understand why I get spam with so many misspelled words. Just add a spellchecker and kick out the messages with the most misspelled words. C’mon, it  can’t be that sticking numbers in words makes them spellcheck-proof. That seems fixable. Seriously, how does this crap get through? C ANA1DIAN PH A5RMACY SPE3CIAL V8I AG8R Read More …

Searching Images & Sounds

Imagine how much the Web will be revolutionized (and I’m sure that others have) when search engines can search images. Still pictures. Videos. And sounds. Basically it’d be some phantasmadupercollossal tech that “looks” and “hears” incredibly fast, recognizes what it sees, labels and categorizes everything in its memory, and makes it all ready for instant Read More …

Karma Meters

It’s kind of a popup desktop utility. You call up “Today’s Scoresheet.” Helped someone? Hurt someone? Check boxes. Double, triple check for double, triple points. Then some fancy graphics (gotta illustrate this*) and presto, your Instant Karma Meter tells you whether you’ve been bad or good, going to Heaven or Hell, and might be on Read More …

When Machines Crack the Language Code

Holy freakin’ s-bomb. Think about this: When the day comes that machines master language, we’re all ego-doomed. Since anyone can implant a language chip in their brain (or at least in an earpiece), everybody can instantly find the best words. Then nothing will ever again believe that anyone is clever! No, it’s not you, babe, it’s your chip! Worse, Read More …

Food Printers

Sure, why not? Here’s a cartridge with Cheese Whiz. Here’s one with Instant Pudding in several “colors.” Or slip in the Marinara Module. Or the Ionizing Icing Applicator. You feed (pun intended) in sheets of edible “paper” — beef jerky pulp, pasta paper, flexible crackers (well, they’ll get “crackery” after they dry or baked, pliable cookie Read More …

Cold Buttons

I don’t understand commercials that make users of products look stupid. OK, it’s fine to postmodern and make fun of yourself (thereby engendering trust), but, hey, if it’s not funny and the user looks like a schmuck, well, why do I look like a schmuck and buy your product? First, tonight, I see a T-mobile ad Read More …

The Complaint Digg

We’ve all sent complaints about products into the black hole of customer relations, never to return. But just suppose, whenever we did, our complaints were automatically added to a poll. Say I emailed, “My defroster failed!” The next person would see my comment, too, and be asked, “Did you also experience this?” No, she’s complains, “There’s this weird clunking Read More …

Working That Upper Body While Biking

Here’s a copy of my second post for inventorspot.com, “Biking for Better Biceps: Brain Rep 2.” Although hill-climbing can be a workout for your arms, most bike-riding does little for your upper bod. I realized this while lugging a watermelon in a bag back from a parking-lot produce market. Really added to the exercise. Could there Read More …