Poor Michael Moore. He keeps making documentaries with the meagerest merchandising possibilities. Now Sicko. See Mr. Ruptured Spleen With No Medical Coverage? Mr. Senator Golfing on Drug Company Junket Money? C’mon, Mike. That’s no way to exploit the American System. Can’t even joke about cuddly toys or honorable action figures for Bowling for Columbine and Fahrenheit 9/11. Even Moore himself isn’t exactly action figure material, as he once said in an interview for bookreporter.com:

Moore: The Michael Moore action figure would be crushing a mid-level executive from Haliburton. The instructions would read: “For every child lost in Iraq, the evil Haliburton — the only winner[$] in this war — must give up one of its managers. Fair is fair!”

So, Mike, c’mon. Wise up. Do a positive documentary about people making a difference. Or cuddly animals. Or rockstar environmentalists. Or brave plastic surgeons doing mega-breast enlargements. Or, hey, how about the heroes of the Merchandising Industrial Complex?