Here’s a trick for almost instantly solving those “Can You Spot the Differences” puzzles. Do the cross-eyed “stereovision” trick! Remember those Magic Eye puzzles? You kind of looked “through” two pictures till they combined to make a 3-D image? The “differences” will pop right out at you! Obligatory warning: Always check with your eye doctor before attempting Read More …
An assignment to write: Air Guitar for Dummies. Aha, you think it’d be a challenge! What could anybody say? But, hey, doesn’t matter! Anybody who’d buy the book gotta be too dim to tell it makes sense or not.
The Cosby Show was once the most popular show on TV — until the parents starting acting all-knowing and wise. It was far more fun in the earlier years when it was more truthful: Sometimes kids are right, and often kids are willful and have a point. Now, along comes Are You Smarter Than a Read More …
If the Lone Ranger got cancer, he’d need Kemo Sabe therapy. Ditto for his erroneous zones (identity problems, gun fixation, neat freakiness, trouble getting a date).
Hmmm … how to liven up having cars go round and round in circles? I’m thinking (a) have obstacles pop up, like cardboard rocks and sheriffs and baby carriages, for mucho swerving fun (b) have “pedestrian crossing” races, where a fan can win $1 million for safely crossing the track, oh, three or four times, or (c) if Read More …
Take an old book and add some steamier scenes. Or wilder adventures. Add trouble of a greater order of magnitude. Same story, more action, less angst. Scarlet Letter: Hester Prynne whips out an uzi and shows those prudes a thing or two. They once had Classic Comics (maybe they still do?), visually retellings of famous stories. These Read More …
A funny newspaper column or book would be a collection of opinions by kids about adult likes and dislikes. Kids try pate. Cigarettes. Wine. The evening news. C-Span. Shakespeare. Caviar. Business suits. The Wall Street Journal. Brie. Slim-Fast. Might make a very “emperor’s new clothes” kind of point: Maybe adults don’t really some this boring, Read More …
Two sides have long histories of hatred? Let the aggressions out in some kind of sporting event. Slug it out in a boxing match. Play rough-and-tumble rugby. Fencing. Wrestling. Paintball. Prime minister vs. prime minister in a fierce game of foosball. Not saying this is a cure for war, but it could defuse some of the unreasonable Read More …
Play with your food: On a box of special tea leaves, include instructions for how to read tea leaves to foretell the future. I’m especially thinking these little leaves should have shapes like letters and words like “buy” so when the letters float together into abbreviations for stocks, presto, instant stock tip. (Probably should call it Instant Read More …
Go to yougraffiti.com (available!), pick from a wide selection of walls (even photos of real buildings), pick your can of spray paint, and leave your message or art for all the world to check out. Of course, have a voting/rating system so folks can find the best. Here’s a cartoon I once did related to graffiti. Read More …
“Hello, Peter and Anne can’t come to phone right now, but if you have a question, just ask.” Well, where the heck are they? And you wouldn’t have a cellphone number I could try, would you? “Actually, they are home but they’re just too lazy and/or rude to answer the phone. So it wouldn’t do any Read More …
Just as some people need help being neat, perhaps some obsessive types need help being sloppy. Business-wise, the great thing about this service is employees would be a snap to find. Then again, such help is probably widely available for free. Everybody has a friend who’d be only too happy to come and leave stuff Read More …
Intriguing and funny, Mental Floss the magazine bills itself as “Where knowledge junkies get their fix.” But the name made me wonder: Is there a way to have a floss that really is mental? How about whenever you pull out some floss, the container talks? (Like a a talking doll or action figure. We had a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Read More …
By all accounts, Pluto Nash was one of the all-time stinkers. Yet Eddie Murphy is one of the all-time funniest people. Which suggests to way the producers could have made lemonade out of this lemon: Borrow a page from Mystery Science Theater 3000 and have Murphy unreservedly rip his own movie. Could be a riot. Just the cranberry Read More …
OK, I know this is a dumb idea … unless somebody’s really desperate. But when it comes to losing weight, some people are. Instead of locking the fridge, which makes others suffer, lock the dieters’ hands with Diet Mittens. They’re so puffy and plump, you can’t hold a fork or even a burrito. Or even a can Read More …