Steal My Ideas, Please

OK, I know this is a dumb idea … unless somebody’s really desperate. But when it comes to losing weight, some people are. Instead of locking the fridge, which makes others suffer, lock the dieters’ hands with Diet Mittens. They’re so puffy and plump, you can’t hold a fork or even a burrito. Or even a can of Dr Pepperidge Farms Cinnaminson Toast Drippings. It’d be cool if the mitts had some kind of timer setting that automatically frees the mitts at the right time. Of course, there are drawbacks. Can’t drive. Can’t use the remote. Can’t brush your teeth. Can’t turn a doorknob. Which means forget exercising. You’ll just have to lie there like a couch potato. Dang, this is a helluvan idea, wouldn’t you say? (Forgive me … my DSL has been down, and I’m desperately adding posts to catch up.)